From Eris Young
The last year has been a funny one for me. I’ve never really been a very outgoing person, and it’s only since I’ve found what I think of as my ‘calling’ (writing) and begun to work towards that as a career, that I’ve had reason to push myself into unfamiliar situations: workshops, talks, live readings, socials. When I was younger, I realise now that I also used money as an excuse. It’s not that I was in the wrong to say, no, that concert or this exhibition or even just going out is too expensive, but that now I’ve got a stable income and can no longer use that excuse that I realise what I was doing. That I felt a tiny bit of relief if my friend didn’t offer to pay for me or suggest a cheaper alternative.
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from Daley Nixon Earthquakes in my frail elbows Weather the fiery tempests of my brain Cats amongst startled pigeons Wrap my battered heart in a velvet blanket The future walks a tightrope Hammerhead sharks lurking in a peaceful lagoon Sirens to the shipwrecked Masked strangers at a welcome party The gilded shoreline beckons A maritime mirage of yearning The tempest is at death's door I am home My Social Anxietyfrom Rachel Cree
When Rita and Kirstyn asked me to help out with Dear Diary with a guest blog, I was really flattered, and thought for a while about the different things I could blog about to help promote the event and open up the conversation of mental health. I wanted to write about something that I struggle with, something that both Rita and Kirstyn have been on the receiving end of in the past. A lot of people have told me how sociable I am, I’ve been told countless times how easy I find it to talk to new people, to network and even during a recent work review how I flourish at a launch where I have to work the room. That being said, I still really struggle with the overwhelming desire when I feel down, to avoid those closest to me, cut out friends, spend time alone, and ignore the very people who would likely help through the black cloud. |
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